A prayer for the first days
Lord, I cannot believe they are gone. Everything feels unreal, and I do not know how to do the next thing. So I will not pretend with You. I am hurting, and I am afraid of how much this will hurt. Stay close to me. Hold me when I cannot hold myself together. Give me strength for today's phone calls and decisions, and the people I need around me. Let me sleep when I need to sleep, and cry when I need to cry. I do not understand this, but I am holding on to You. Please hold on to me. Amen.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
A prayer for someone who is grieving
When a friend loses someone, it is hard to know what to say. Praying for them is something you can always do, and it often shows you what to do next. Scripture asks us to “weep with them that weep” (Romans 12:15, KJV): not to fix their grief, but to share it.
A prayer for someone who lost a loved one
Father of all comfort, I lift up my friend, who is grieving the death of [name]. You know how deep this loss goes. Be near to them when the house is quiet and everyone else has gone home. Give them rest at night and strength for each morning. Surround them with people who will listen, bring meals, say the name of the one they lost, and stay for the long months ahead. Show me how to love them well: when to speak, when to sit quietly, and what practical help to give. Carry them, Lord, when they cannot carry themselves. In Jesus' name, Amen.
“Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”
A short prayer for a funeral
This prayer is written so Christians from different churches can pray it together, at a funeral, a graveside or a family gathering afterward. Traditions differ here, and it helps to know how. Catholic and Orthodox Christians also pray for the person who has died: the Catholic Church has prayed for the dead since its earliest days, as its Catechism teaches, and Orthodox churches hold memorial services for the departed. Many Protestants do not pray for the dead, and focus instead on thanks for the life, comfort for the mourners and the hope of the resurrection. If your church has its own funeral prayers, use them; this one can sit alongside them.
If your family is still deciding between burial and cremation, see what the Bible says about cremation.
A short prayer for a funeral
God of all comfort, we gather in sorrow, and we gather in thanks. Thank You for the life of [name]: for their love, their laughter, and every way they blessed the people in this room. We give them back to You, who made them and knew them before we did. Comfort everyone who grieves today, especially those closest to them. Stay near in the weeks ahead, when the visitors go home and the house is quiet. Teach us to number our days, and to live in the hope that death does not have the last word, because Jesus Christ is risen. Amen.
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
A prayer for the holidays without them
The first Thanksgiving, Christmas or birthday without someone can hurt as much as the funeral did, sometimes more. You do not have to keep every tradition, and you do not have to drop them all. Some families set a place at the table, light a candle, or ask everyone to share a story. Others change things completely for a year. Whatever you choose, it helps to decide ahead of time and to tell the people around you what you need.
A prayer for the holidays without them
Lord, the holidays are coming, and I am dreading them. Everywhere I look I see where [name] should be: their chair, their recipe, their laugh from the next room. Help me get through these days one hour at a time. Help me let go of what I cannot face this year, and give me courage to keep what still matters. Let the people around me be gentle, and let me be gentle with myself. When the music and the lights feel too bright, be my quiet place. Thank You for every holiday I had with them. Hold the ache I carry, and hold me. Amen.
“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee”
A Christmas prayer after loss
Lord Jesus, You came into a world full of sorrow, on a dark night, to people who were waiting for light. This Christmas I am sitting in the dark. I miss [name] so much. I do not have to feel merry to welcome You, so I come as I am. Let the light of Your coming reach the places that grief has made dark. Thank You that because You came, died and rose again, death will not have the final word. Stay close to me until the day God wipes away every tear. Amen.
“And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”
When grief comes back months later
Grief does not move in a straight line. Months or years later, a song, a smell, an anniversary or an ordinary afternoon can bring it back as strong as the first week. That does not mean you are going backward or that your faith has failed. It means you loved someone. The psalmist asked God to keep his tears: “put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?” (Psalm 56:8, KJV). Not one of yours is lost on God.
If the weight is not lifting, or ordinary days have become hard to get through, please talk to someone: your pastor, a grief support group, your doctor or a counselor. Asking for help is not a lack of faith. Our Bible verses about depression may help on the darkest days. And if you have thoughts of not wanting to live, reach out today: call or text 988 in the US and Canada, or call Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK and Ireland.
A prayer when grief comes back
Lord, I thought I was doing better, and today the grief came back as if it were new. I miss [name]. Everyone else seems to have moved on, and I feel alone with it. Thank You that You have not moved on from me. You are as close today as You were in the first week. Meet me in this wave. Help me be patient with myself, and remember that love does not keep to a schedule. Bring me the people I need, and help me say yes when they reach out. I will hope in You, even today. Amen.
“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.”
Prayers after losing a parent, a spouse or a child
Every loss is its own, and these prayers are short on purpose. Change any word that does not fit your story.
A prayer after losing a mother or father
Lord, my mother (or father) is gone, and the world feels smaller without them. Whatever our relationship was, easy or complicated, You knew all of it. Thank You for the life they gave me and for every good thing they passed on. Help me forgive what needs forgiving, and lay down what was left unsaid. Help me carry the best of them into my own life. You have been the home of every generation; be my home now. Amen.
“Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.”
A prayer after losing a husband or wife
Lord, I have lost my husband (or wife), my partner and my closest friend, and I do not know who I am without them. The house is too quiet. Their side of the bed is empty. Thank You for every year we had, the ordinary days most of all. Be close to me in the decisions I now make alone, and in the nights that are hardest. Bring good people around me, and teach me, slowly, how to live this new life. Our love was Your gift, and nothing can separate me from Your love. Amen.
“love is strong as death ... Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it”
A prayer after losing a child
Lord, my child has died, and there are no words big enough for this. It is not the way things should be. I do not have to understand it to bring it to You. Jesus wept at His friend's grave, and I know You do not turn away from my tears. I trust my child to Your arms, and I ask You to hold me, and every one of us who is grieving in our own way. On the days I am angry, let me tell You. On the days I cannot pray, carry me anyway. Whether my child was a baby I never got to hold or someone I watched grow up, I will love them for the rest of my life. Keep me close to You, all the way home. Amen.
“he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom”
Comforting Bible verses for grief
These are some of the Bible's most comforting words for the death of a loved one. If you need short comforting Bible verses, Psalm 34:18 and Matthew 5:4 are a single verse each. When you can take in more, read John 14 or Psalm 23 slowly, perhaps aloud.
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”
“Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.”
“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”
“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”
“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?”
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.”
If reading is hard right now, Faithero can read a chapter such as Psalm 23 or John 14 aloud from your iPhone, with a sleep timer for the nights when sleep will not come. And if you are wondering what the Bible teaches about where your loved one is now, see what happens when we die.
Short verses for a sympathy card
A card does not need much: a short verse, the name of the person who died, and one honest sentence. Here are verses short enough to write by hand, each with a line you could add. Matthew 5:4 and Psalm 34:18, above, work well too.
| Verse | Words (KJV) | A line you could add |
|---|---|---|
| Psalm 147:3 | “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” | Praying for your heart in these days. |
| Deuteronomy 33:27 | “The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” | May you feel held, even on the days you cannot hold on. |
| Nahum 1:7 | “The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble” | We are asking God to be your shelter this week and in the weeks ahead. |
| John 14:27 | “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you” | With love, and with prayers for peace as you grieve. |
| Psalm 62:8 | “pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.” | You do not have to be strong with God, or with us. |
| 2 Thessalonians 3:16 | “Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means.” | We are so sorry. You are in our prayers. |
Phrases that try to explain the loss can wound, even when they are kindly meant. A verse and your love are enough.
Frequently asked
What does the Bible say about grief?
That grief is real, and that God meets us in it. Jesus wept at the grave of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35), even though He was about to raise him. The Psalms are full of honest sorrow. God is "nigh unto them that are of a broken heart" (Psalm 34:18, KJV), and Jesus said, "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4, KJV). For Christians, grief is also held inside a hope: one day God "shall wipe away all tears from their eyes" (Revelation 21:4, KJV).
Is it wrong to grieve if I believe in heaven?
No. Paul did not tell grieving Christians to stop sorrowing. He told them they would not sorrow "even as others which have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13, KJV). Grief and hope sit side by side. Jesus knew Lazarus would rise, and He still wept with Mary and the mourners around her (John 11:33-35). Your tears are not a failure of faith; they are love for someone you miss.
What can I pray for a friend who lost someone?
Pray for comfort in the quiet moments, sleep at night, strength for the decisions ahead, and people who will stay close after the funeral, when the visits slow down. Pray for the specific things you know about: the children, the job, the empty house. Then let your prayer shape your help: send a message on hard dates, bring a meal, and say the name of the person who died. It also helps to tell your friend simply, "I am praying for you," and then do it.
Is it OK to be angry at God when someone dies?
God can handle your honesty. The Bible includes many prayers of complaint, such as "How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever?" (Psalm 13:1, KJV). Job poured out his anguish for chapter after chapter, and God answered him (Job 38:1). Bring your anger to God rather than away from Him; that is still prayer. A pastor or counselor can help you work through it too.
The God who weeps with us
When Jesus came to Bethany, His friend Lazarus had been in the grave four days (John 11:17). Jesus knew what He was about to do: He would call Lazarus out of the tomb. And still, standing with Mary and the mourners, He wept (John 11:35). He did not hurry their grief or correct it. He shared it.
That is the God you are praying to. Christian hope does not ask you to skip the sorrow; it promises that sorrow will not have the last word. Until that day, it is all right to cry, to miss them, and to have no words at all. God is near to the brokenhearted, and He is near to you.
A prayer for the first days
The first days after a death are often a blur of phone calls, paperwork and people. Some feel numb, some cannot stop crying, and many swing between the two. You do not have to feel anything in particular to pray. The Psalms are full of people telling God the plain truth: “I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears” (Psalm 6:6, KJV).